If you and your spouse are dealing with an affair, both of you are undoubtedly dealing with a mixture of guilt, blame, anger, sadness, and despair. It's pretty overwhelming... especially since you're probably dealing with other marital problems on top of the affair -otherwise, the affair likely would never have happened in the first place!
Even worse, you have to try to make a rational decision about whether your marriage is worth surviving infedelity at all! I mean, both you and your spouse are undoubtedly wondering if things can ever be the same again. In my years of experience, I've found that any marriage can be saved, no matter what happened or how bad things have gotten. You just have to have the right tools and knowledge to make it happen. That said, I will tell you that you're going to have a much easier time of it if your spouse:
- admitted the affair to you voluntarily, instead of just waiting for you to find out on your own (or worse, trying to hide it from you).
- gave you the details of the affair in an open and honest manner.
- feels remorse for his or her infedelity.
- has ended the affair, and has agreed to cut off all communication with the "other person".
honestly wants to work with you to restore your marriage.
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